Spend a little while to appreciate me will ya?

Sometimes when you give too much... and there is no appreciation..it crashes... it hurts... i regret giving.... i should take more... i regret...

i think i'm too old...

I think i'm too old

TOo old to get surprises.. too old to have ice cream... too old to have flowers.... or are you too boring?

Nicky's surprise berfday party!!

Part1
Part2

Most disgusting shit !

See that? I drank that last nite.... I nearly die-ed .. Now the thot of it still makes me sick!!!!

mobile storm (clementi)

This store is farked up!!!!! nbcb!! i bought a new phone from them today.. you know wad happended?? This bloody store is cheating my money la...!! someone used the phone one lor... First they ask me to get the promo package in which i must pay $88 for an extra battery.. Den they tell me the phone is new... Brand new le... Nbcb!! got some strangers' name n number inside la... den the games got people play game already lor... Wah lau.. i feel so cheated lor... Soem of you might sae bring to CASE lor.. if CASE can settle there won't be so many unhappy consumers already lor... And if you wan to complaint you still need to pay a $25 member fee la... They will sae sorree ah we cannot do much.... and all sort of nonsense one la... at the end of the day we also lose out one lor... we pay money to lose out.. CASE will definately have cases about this kind of mobile company and they still survive only show how 'powerful' case is lor... Wad to do.. suck thumb la... they'll sae it in a nicer way... *sigh.... in the end consumer lose out... anywaes, this mobile storm is located very near the bus interchange i would take photo of the shop when i pass by manz.. make me angry... They have branches @ hougang, chinatown, toa payoh, maslining and JE... SO many places to cheat our money... they are really purias la!!! and the guy damm smart ask me to throw away my receipt... now den i read they ask us to check our goods and it is not returnable.... all these bo tak chek kids really quite smart in some ways ah... they won't starve one la...

Happy berfday ah boy....

Went for dinner @ oasis.. pepper crab is better den chilli crab... but i only know how to eat one part of a crab.. i <3 my weekend!! thanks!!!i <3 my weekend!! thanks to karen and my daddy.. I'll spend more time with you guys okie? but daddy wan to b thai pm... hee! lame sms*

my love day...

My saturday was filled with love... I when to church to thank God.. I went to this aust fish n chip place... it was Okay only le... and i went to eat ice cream.. teh tarik flavour... taste really like teh tarik.. really kool la... abit weird la... But quite interesting... you can print your photos for free... too bad karen's camera is 2 or 1 megapix.. I miss the times me n my klassmates go to serene centre...miss the bitches!!! I cutted my hair at chapter 2.. one side long one side short.. funky ah... hee! hit rochester park for a drink... they very jian one... eitjer u park at the public parkin or u can't park on top all valet parking.. valet park must got back early cos they close at 1am... stupid or wad... nice place to chill... too bad pussycat gang spilt already.. sigh... i dun getti why some of em just like to lie.... I miss it when i'm young and serene centre was my playground...

musical and food...I hate rainy daes!

There is like a craze on forbidden city... is it really nice? it has been a while since i've been to a musical.. i think the last time was singing in the rain.. it was not too bad... but that was like ages ago... Maybe one of these days i'll drag karen to one of the nice musical with me.. hee! Rusell peters tickets would be nice also.. but karen dun wan to go... next time lor...

Did i mention i tried the manhatten fish market? Okay only lor... I just pity the people who work there... they have to cook the prawns infront of the customers la... you know how bloody heavy is that pan thing not? *sigh... But Still like the ambience of fish and co and the staff is also better lor... I don't understand what the staff in MFM was talking lor... *sigh... But over all the food is edible lor.. the fried oyster no big deal lor.. i got flour instead of oyster le....

I really hate rainy days..and i also hate the week of the month... My body was aching the whole day... i can't sleep the whole nite!! i slept like at 7am!!.. I really hope someone would understand.. the pain or numbness that i'm going thru.. i hate it when it rains!!!! i hate it when my *ahem is here!!!! This is the reason why i wan to die early... i don't want to die old and lumpy!! and full of pain!!!! God pls listen to me!!! I wan all the pain to go away!!! physically and emotionally!!!

my georgie boy..

Look who came for supper? hee! my boy... hee! he so poorthing .. kana ticks.. how to bloody hell cure ?!?!?! got lost in east coast... got damm pissed with nic la... he's jus not good with directions la.... some pple are just not thankful... like they deserve it one... nxt time pls remind me la ... got car dun go pick him.. can just go chill with karen....

daddy bought super big prawns la... so cool.... n nice... and i tired ice wine.. sweet sweet one.... hee!

' ok babe .. i love you.."

1. Like force you to sae like that... dun wan to say .. dun bother pls... like i irritating you like that

2. Bitch! stop calling me babe... you dont get it!!!

3. mr brown rockS

365 days

365 days of joy
365 days of tears
365 days of tahaning...
365 days of whining
365 days of running
365 days of quarreling
365 days of walking
365 days of smiling
365 days of laughin
365 days of outbreak
365 days of hibernating
365 days of work and travel
365 days of lan gaming
365 days of photo whoring
365 days of nagging
................................................................................................................................ Nothing special , Dinner, dessert, movie... just like all dates... 365 days... ... No more flowers .. no more surprises after 365 days... e 1st mnth you said 1st year is more important... i looked forward to ur so called 1st year... mayb i'm just oo emotional... or sentimental... just like a little ger.. i yearn for pure sweet love... where did all honeyz go? Where did all love go?

love yourself... before u wan anyone to love you... - mum

daily rambling

I'm having really really bad emotional change now... even my george can't slove it... It's the time of the year when i RUN away from everything that is in front of me.. Not that i cannot cope.. It's just that I wish someone would be here for me... I hope school will be better... Filled with people that i used to love... Tertiary education is indeed different... An A student in junior college does not mean you'll be an A student in Uni... I nv ever dreamt of being of being A student... All i wan to score is a pass... But in school pass is a fail.... How is it possible for someone like me to be able to compete with Elites?! Why can't i work at my own pace?!!

A year ago, Fi asked me... Why did i chose someone like N? I told her... He is not bf quality but husband quality... But now if Fi ask me again.... i will tell her he is not husband quality but Bf quality now... why is there a change? it's easy! becoz pple change.. a year i was still a baby.. i was really naive... N seems to be someone who can show me light and show me way.. and mayb we can grow together... but now... the road is too dim and i have stop growing...Why gers can be so stupid when they are in a relationship?! Today, i went back home early i saw this beautiful ger sending her bf( or a 'boy - fren') off to the bus stop... This beautiful ger is actually tricked to walk all the way from the lib with this guy to wait for a stupid bus... and then returning back to school... boy! i have done so many stupid stuff in the past... and i know it is stupid and i still do it... AND it alwaz leads to something that no one appreciates it in the end...

Talked to Adrian a few days ago... We talked marriage and living with a stranger for the rest of your life.. even the way that he uses toothpaste might bother you... If Adrian had asked me if i see myself marrying (you know who) a year ago... I would definatly say yes! ... But after work and travel... after getting to know him and his family... i became quite uncertain.... It has comes to a point of time.. where we both have different goals in our lives... It has come to a point where we both needs motivation for each other in our different goals... Well, He might say It's so easy to motivate me... Shopping lor or even going for a good meal... Boy! o Boy! you don't know me at all... I know he space to grow now... He is in his 'growing' stage while i'm in my 'hibernating' state... So i have gradually became a huge piece of Rock of his... Food has became tasteless for me... Frankly speaking i forgot how does real food taste like... I eat for the stake of eating ... be coz i was hungry... i forgot how does lovly romantic story goes... Why does drawing I love yous became trash? Thats why no more fairy tale stories and no more cards for the time being... It will become thrash.... Why isn't sweet when we kiss? Where did all the blushing went? Where did all the warm fuzzy feeling go? now all i get is a piercing thru my heart when i think of him... i can't tell him i miss him.. i can't cry... i can't argue... i have became silent.. and i bascailly gave up when a fight come.... i used to be so in love... I always thot that we will click gradually.. But after lunching with him after classes.. It has seem to have fallen back to square one... I kept thinking who is guy i'm having lunch with... When did lunch became just company? Why do i feel like a stranger? Why after one year we still do not have a common topic? Where is there still no conversation 'hitpoint'? Have i lost my commication skills? I wasn't like that a year ago...

I just hope to make more real frens.. hope join sife and making new project group would help... I just hope that one day there is no need for him to be my lunch partner... He needs all the space that he can get... I feel so useless when I'm SLOW... Instead of motivating me at my pace... i need to be ahead of thous who are way on top of me...

His life so consist of his family, Dota( Lan gaming). Soccer, Finace quizes, marketing presentation...
his life doesnt make a difference without me.. If i walk out of this relationship( i did) he still has his frens... It doesn't matter if i'm dead or alive.. or even if i'm asleep in the middle of the nite... Now i love him more than he loves me... This curve will have to change soon... really soon...

My life so wanna consist of someone i love, Swimming, friends.. ( really close frens) .. like thou in sec sch and in pre u....

I used to be in love... i used to see colours... Now it's just black and white! It has come to a point of time.. when i question myself.. if it is worth it ... Is it worth it to make 'childish' cards and pictures? Is it worth it to walk to extra mile to meet you? Would you appreciate it? Would you notice it? Would it become thrash again? You have no idea how painful this process is when your heart wans to give all out.. but our mind is slowly getting a wake up call.... Sometimes the heart wins... Sometimes commonsense will win....If one day we have to say goodbye... Don't be sad... It only means my commonsense won...

Where did all the sunshine go?

Where did all the photo whoring go?
Where did all my smilies go?
Where did all my sunshine go?
I used to see sunshine everyday... You alwaz kept Thunderstorm away...
But you are away... So thunderstorms are here to stay....

hmmm... swallow wad?

Me and Mr N walk pass this poster.... and it wrote

" The secret to beautiful skin... ..... I swallow....."

Hahahahhahahahahahhahaha... swallow wad sial....

I don't understand..

I don't understand.. why would you give up someone so perfect and beautiful for shit like me.... Open up your eyes!!! I'm not perfect.. I'm just crap!

something interesting

Zm new water bottle and his food on the floor....
HK cafe at zion ... milo french toast, oily prawn and mango, weird pudding... lemon coke and ice tea with chin chow..... 

I had tim sum!!

yummy yum yum.. dim sum near my school... zm bring me there... 

Sad

我知道这样 不好 也知道你的爱只能 那么少
我只有不停的要 要到你 想逃
泪湿的枕头晒干就好 眼泪在你的心里只是 无理取闹
以为在你身后 是我我一辈子的骄傲原来你 什么都不想要
我不要你的呵护 你的玫瑰 只要你好好久久爱我一遍
就算虚荣也好 贪心也好 哪个女人对爱 不自私 不奢望
我不要你的承诺 不要你的永远 只要你真真切切爱我一遍
就算虚荣也好 贪心也好 最怕你把沉默 当做对我的回答

我知道这样 不好 也知道你的爱只能 那么少
我只有不停的要 要到你 想逃
泪湿的枕头晒干就好 眼泪在你的心里只是 无理取闹
以为在你身后 是我我一辈子的骄傲
原来你 什么都不想要

我不要你的呵护 你的玫瑰 只要你好好久久爱我一遍
就算虚荣也好 贪心也好 哪个女人对爱 不自私 不奢望
我不要你的承诺 不要你的永远 只要你真真切切爱我一遍
就算虚荣也好 贪心也好 最怕你把沉默 当做对我的回答
Oh~ 我不要你的承诺 不要你的永远 只要你好好久久爱我一遍
就算虚荣也好 贪心也好 哪个女人对爱 不自私 不奢望
我不要你的承诺 不要你的永远 只要你真真切切爱我一遍
就算虚荣也好 贪心也好 最怕你把沉默 当做对我的回答
原来你 什么都不想要

Mr Nic made me cry.....




They were not tears of joy....

i made oreo cheesecake!

If i have no job when i grow old mayb i can sell cheesecake... hee! Another Hk cafe at cine.... 

go watch!

http://www.mrbrownshow.com/?cat=3

Go download the talks at is at parliment.. damm funny la!

would you stop and see?

Art fest in school.. grand opening of walter woon.. N's place under construction.. 

I hate the smell of books...

For people who have my msn ... this is my msn nick for now... Why? cos i'm trying to study... and it's not easy! I can feel the stress all around me.. it's like 20% of me want to study another 80% wants to be elsewhere... But i need to find the joy in studying .. slowly... very slowly... I came to school today thinking i have a 12pm class la! But I realised My class is at 330pm when i was wondering why is there no one outside class.. GOONDO or wad?!?!?! Too excited for school ah??! Silly manz!! * knock my head! Well, school is like my 1st home now... even i don't stay in the hostel... i spend like my whole day here... for wad?!?! I DO NOT KNOW!!!! I'm ike wasting my time here.... Today is like quite boring... read some slides till i quite dizzy.... and i'm like studying outside cos there is NO more GSR left.. all BOOKED... chao muggers.. in their mugger mode... so issit week3 or week4 now?! i hate it when i don't have the school organizer... i wan one!! but i have no idea who has it..they should sell it at booklink! i'll buy it!! i don't even know when is my 1 week holidae!! something i look forward to... ARgggg... i'm so *pek chek can.. Why? cos my laptop is a pain in the butt... i feel like an idiot sitting outside the gsr.. and the rain!! making me feel... so... so.. sticky!! And also my school network is the worse in Singapore la can!! It has been down lor... cannot msn.. cannot even surf... so lousy!!!

On the brite side, this week will be quite exciting..(I guess) hee! I can't wait! Let me start with wednesday! Me and karen is planning to make cheesecake.. i've been craving for cheesecake.. really good cheesecake for quite some time... so i'm goina make a whole cheesecake for myself!!! ME! me! ALL mine!! invited shan, tessa and carmen... but i think only ck free le... but nm no one fight my cheesecake with me... ha! Hope it will be good... well, i got the receipe from www.kraftfoods.com I hope it's really good.. we are tryin the oreo one... It's easy to make!! ( i think)

Thursday would be no school day for me... me, shan, karen and wanzhen and JL planning to go out... hee!

Friday is my first presentation day of the sem i hope (keep my fingers crossed) it will turn out ok... hee! But we have not met yet!!!! so mayb thursday we will meet up lor... I have fear on public speakin so i need training .... alot of training!!

Anywaes, Yday i saw PSP for the 1st time in my life... quite suan ku rite?? but only got 1 game le...

Back to school...

I'm back to school for like 3 weeks... ya.. 3 long weeks... if ot for fi and karen and zm and Mr N these 3 weeks would be hell... well, have been too lazy to blog as i have no fotos to post and there nothing interesting happening.. just the same old me .. going to school.. meeting for lunch and just bumming... Well, the reason i blog is just an outlet for me to vent all my angers and show pple how computer idiot i am... HTML is driving me crazy can't they have it in simpler language! And of cos how bad i spell.. I have spelling problem since young lor... Like the boy in 'i not stupid' I have problems in school.. i never like school... well, i don't like alot of things... The reason i blog is not going around telling people that i have a bloody blog! I won't tell and it's for pple to find out.. even the pple i'm closest to dunno i blog... Blogging give me some space for myself... and enable me to be anyone i wan to be... I brings me away from boring classes...

Tessa is doing yellow ribbon project at tiong mrt tmr.. do do do support her and support this activity... everyone need a chance... * i think* *grins... When will my school life see light??

The bad bring out the good...

Bah chor mee at east coast.. just bside the HKcafe... bad service.. and bad food.....

VS

VS

After having the hk food from tiong we buay tahan ... miss the one at east coast... East coast one has expanded and there is an increase of choices....

mongoose family

This is mr dlephant and mr frog is his fren....

Bad Bad Bad....

1) Watershock'06 is worse event i've ever ever ever been to. It is the most pathetic piece of crap! We went around 1pm after lunch excited to try wakeboarding, sailing kayaking and many many other water stuff that they 'advertised'. Boy! it was bad! I don't have photos to show cos i forgot to bring my phone and my camera is in the coffin.. It's worse than pasar malam la! It's at marina.. some construction site.. mud everywhere no proper place to walk(who the hell is in charge of checking the place out?!?!) It's not worth our 5 bucks la! k, the flea market only consist of like 5 stores that sell stuff.. worse of all one store is like selling 2nd hand stuff la... don't even bother to look at it.. cos there is nothing! Ground event: Archery: super near and have to wait for them to collect the arrows after each person... Softball: didn't even try! there was a bloody line.. Reverse Bungee: the only thing i have tried that was interesting.. however, the person is rude and the thing is quite paisey coz u on top alot of pple look at you one lor...
Now, for the worst! Water event! Water shock had really shocked us man... 1pm all full... nah bei! U tell me no line .. den when i reach you tell me full cannot play.. den i go watershock for wat... cannot even get to dip water le... So, disappointed with smux.. they are like suppose to be a cool club.. but after going for 2 events it makes me think twice before going to something intro by smux...

2) 2nd bad was HKcafe at tiong bahru! It was the worse i have ever tried! Service was bad... Food is not edible...

'See this? Don't try it!'

" black pepper chicken noodles, the mee is worse den wanton mee"

"beef horfun! killer man this one... the oil is like the sauce! I nearly died from a heart attack! It's worse than the chinese food in NY man... "

'This the the most saddening one.. mango pudding! it's jello from gaint... $2.50 nah bei!'

Something good Mr N went KTV and they gave them a super big room...

Too big a room for 5 boys... but it's nice.....


This is good pudding from hkcafe at east coast.... not crap from gaint!

*sigh.... time to mug for 4 papers... after the very very very long weekend.. meeting miss tessa to shop again later.... Mr N is going to kill me....

No body knows..

NOBODY KNOWS
By: The Tony Rich Project

I pretended I'm glad you went away
These four walls closin' more every day
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me
Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
And I'm crying inside
And nobody knows it but me
Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a tumblin' down
I can say it so clearly
But you're nowhere around

The nights are lonely,
the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
And I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside and nobody knows it but me
I lie awake it's a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night as if I thought
You'd hear me
Yeah my heart is callin' you
And nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say just how
I feel A million years from now you know
I'll be lovin' you still

The nights are lonely,
the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

Tomorrow mornin' I'm hitting the dusty road
Gonna find you wherever, ever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart and hope you come back to me
Said when the nights are lonely...

The nights are lonely,
the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

This song is like a sad sad song lor...
Why so many blogs in one day... well, someone don't need my company anymore... I guess I'm like a sticky glue... One needs more space... The more i love.... the deeper i fall...
The deeper i fall... the more it hurts....

'Click' the movie

I watched clicked last night... Boy! the show was so expectable lor... but quite sweet lor... It's quite cool for one to control their life... but there are pro and cons ah... Sigh... Donna is so bloodly HOT la...

" Would you still love me in the morning?"

" forever and ever...."

Awwww... It's so sweet la...

A new blog

yay!!! I've got readers!! YUKI!!! I never knew i have readers..
Well, since there are readers i have to spell correctly and type in proper
english so you guys can understand wad i typing... well, how's school? I have
like 4 exams for this term.. 4 modules and 4 days week... this mean si si si
liao lor.. hee! wad to do... sigh... I don't understand why i hate school so
much.... I need to make more frens man... The school so big.. why can't i find
someone who can click wimme??!?!? well, luckily i have yuki who i really thank
God for... n Karen Sherine Jialing estee Christine n more... hee! but they alwaz
MIA from me le... Maybe not fun lor wimme... or i too LOUD again... Alrite
alrite.. too much whining... some updates!!! hee! Since most people know this is
my blog den i can put all your pretty face on it liao... hee! no need to put
blur blur ones...

k! First up the 1st soccer game i've been to.. Mr N
played... Their team is like call Man in black but they are all dressed in YELLOW! well, i dunno if they played
well but it's kindna exciting BUT the place abit small n only play awhile le...
spend most time waiting only le








There you go.. bananas! n the infamous MR
N!













Next up, Ding Tai
Feng... I know i a bit slow but this is my first time trying it... I don't
understand why are pple crazy for this... crystal jade is nicer... The skin for
their xiao long bao is so dry and the la mien is like maggie mee.... don't
understand where the craze is about... another place for xiao long bao is at
bugis... that one ah... the skin super thick ... not very worth it....

If you are wondering who is that guy.. it's ZM a funny and lame guy la...
full of nonsense...

Have been hanging out with karen lately... well, she is my only fren after i come back from states la.... Thank God for Karen...

Well, went for this beauty talk at sentosa and shopping!!! The little boy is somehow related to karen... but i dunno how are they are related la.. hee! We tried the HKcafe at cine... there seems to be alot these hk cafe coming out... My fave it the one at east coast(i think) they even have a website www.hkcafe.com.sg Everything is nice in the menu la... Great place for late night supper.... Another place for supper is none other then holland v's breko.. but i'm sick of that place already... hee!

Another place that i checked out it the Day bed Bar.. It's in MS.. Really nice place to chill.. we went there like on a Saturday.. MS was like dead .. where is everyone man? DBB has like 'Ti Lam' beds as chair.. and their drinks is like quite strong .. i don't really like it... Chocolate with martini.. btw they are famous for martinis ... but the ambience is really nice... the calamari is good but the fries.. er.. is foodcourt type one lor...

ZM was being a irritant... and N is sleeping.. really sleeping....

I went to school bash last nite.. with the wrong bunch of guy( boys) .. I miss clubbing with carmen and karen and Fi... sigh.... everyone is busy... School bash was at MOS.. suppose to be there before 10pm.. I was there at 1015pm la.... but the stupid bitch( well, they don't call em door bitch for nothing) say no! cannot must pay entry... we bot the ticket like for $14 before the event in school la... but we cannot use it becos we are 15 min late..!!! ARggg!!!!! so i have to pay another $18 cover la... irritating! anf from 1am to 2am it's like 1 for 1 for all drinks la.. but their drinks are not cheap either... a jug is like $41... They are making loadsa money... unlike o bar.. free flow and entry for babes... but the sound system at mos is good la.. got ringing sound when i'm home la.... but overall it was ok la.... N was throwing money last nite... not that i nag... it'slke everything he offer to pay... well... that has it's pro and cons la... he has fun can liao lor...

' We made a pact a months back.. If you smoke... we'll be thru.....'

Well, I'm gald you were happy last nite...

We used to be so in love with each other... we use to hold each other so close...